Danny Boy
I lost a dear friend today. I guess dear friend might not be a fair term considering we haven’t spoken in at least two years. One of my former basketball coaches passed away after a hard-fought bout with a brain tumor.
On his honeymoon, he passed out and was taken to the emergency room, only to find out that his life was never going to be the same. That was about four years ago. He was head basketball coach at Eastern New Mexico University at the time, and he coached for another year before he had to step down because he could not see any longer, and his health was continuing to be an issue for him.
This man, this wonderful man, was an inspiration to me and many others around him. Even as I sit here, I listen to my husband tell me that he modeled himself after Dan, and the kind of assistant coach Dan was, something I didn’t know until just this moment.
I still can’t believe he’s gone.
Although his name was Dan, for some reason, I just called him Danny. Even years after I finished playing, he told me that I had always called him Danny, even though I didn’t really remember why; and we had a good laugh about it.
He was that little big brother who always listened to what I had to say, and always helped me see something I may have missed, and really helped me to be a better player and a better person. Danny made me feel like my opinion mattered even when others weren’t so kind, and helped me to see that it was okay to be intense and aggressive, that it was a strength and not a weakness.
Some of the girls jokingly called him laser, because he was always moving—always doing, never stagnant or still. He was an integral part of my game warm up; we had a routine. I would warm up for a while; then he would stand next to me and foul the crap out of me as I made my post moves, as I tried to get around him to push the ball to the hoop, through the foul, in spite of the foul … because of the foul.
Here I sit, five states away, thinking about his funeral planned for Saturday. It will be on the floor where I played, and where he coached for many years. The place where I learned many lessons about life, about me, about my limits and strengths. His life, his legacy will be forever intertwined with mine, and I will never forget him or the lessons I learned from him.
The lessons I learned from Danny:
You are who you are, and as long as YOU know who you are, and you like who you are, then it doesn’t really matter what other people think.
Life is more full when you move; Do something. Earn something. Design something. Invent something.
Take the shot from half-court just to see if you can; and if you keep trying, eventually you will start making it with some regularity.
It’s okay to be intense and anal. In fact, if you use it right, it can really be an advantage for you.
Even if things seem impossible, with a little extra push, shove and effort, you can still get the ball in the hole, and maybe even get a couple of free-throws out of the deal.
My friend, you were loved, are loved and will always be remembered. You touched the lives of those who knew you more than you ever knew. Thank you for the fouls, the talks, the prayers; thank you for believing in me Danny boy. I will never forget you.
August 15th, 2007 at 7:58 am
That was nice Honey. Dan was an awesome person and I will never forget him too. I love you.
August 15th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Jenn! that was great. Dan was blessed with a lot of great friends, and you were one of them for sure!
August 15th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Jenn…okay, you really made me cry! What a wonderful blog!
Dan was a special guy and a great coach. He touched so many souls and I know I will never forget him and all the patience he had for our team. You don’t meet many like him. We were blessed to have known him. He will be missed by many.
August 15th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Well let me tell you Tree, I was totally bawling when I wrote it, so believe me, I understand. I’m so glad you liked it. It is supposed to honor him, and I hope it speaks to his character and his life. … Just through my eyes.
You know, it’s so hard when people that we care about are gone. But I know I would much rather have known him and experience this loss than to never have known him at all, that is for sure.
August 16th, 2007 at 9:20 am
Jenn…this was wonderful! I can’t believe he is gone. Just like Treena said…we were blessed to have known him. Thanks for helping me remember what a wonderful man and coach he was.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
I am older than all of you guys so I got to know Dan as my grad assistant coach! I graduated from ENMU in 1990. Dan was my age then (20 or 21) and he was such a fun guy! Total energy and really eager to coach! I am glad he got the chance to do just that. I will never forget his little “Texas (i.e. Portales) drawl and when I read Coach Moore’s comments, that’s when I cried. Coach said that Dan was loyal and a great assistant and a great friend. He was a true blue ZIA, that’s for sure. He loved ENMU and we loved him! He’ll be smiling when he looks down on a packed gym in his honor on Saturday. I’ll miss you Dan!
August 19th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Jenn,
Hey sweetie! Oh my goodness! You truly honor Dan with this blog! Every word that you have written is true. For someone who never had the honor of meeting him can truly understand what a wonderful man he was. I remember that everytime he walked into that office that he was the sweetest, nicest guy. Whether he was needing help with a travel voucher or wondering if Rosie was in, I never minded helping him. He was always grateful for the help and always willing to help out in return. The world has lost a wonderful and genuine man yet his positive example will live with me and every life he touched forever. Thank for writting this. I know he appreciates it.
August 20th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Jennifer,
Thanks for the wonderful memories of Dan. I will never forget his smile and his work ethic. He was a wonderful person and he inspired many people. I thought his memorial service at Greyhound Arena was appropriate.
August 20th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Jenn,
You did an awsome job writing about Dan. I only knew Dan from work but thought he was an AWSOME person! He always was so kind to me! I seen him after he couldn’t see anymore and went over to talk to him and he said I’m sorry but I can’t see you to see who you are and I said it is Kyleen and he said Kyleen Willis Registrar’s office. What a wonderful person. He had a heart of gold and I will miss him too! He always seemed so happy no matter what life through at him! Keep your head up! He is in a better place where he is not suffering anymore and looking down on all the people he loved!
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:09 am
Susan, Yvette and Kyleen, you guys thanks for the notes. It is nice to hear about how he helped and touched the lives of so many others. Maybe more people will post about their experiences with him — I know I would enjoy reading them. He was so … consistently kind, you know? I think that is one thing we will miss the most.
August 28th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Hey Jenn, So I just recently heard what happen to coach….and today here I sit surfing the web to see if it is true and…… here I come across your blog and I would like to say its beautiful, I must say I met coach when I was in 8th grade through my senior year, he would tell me (at the time he use to call me Pete), he would say, eventually Pete your are going to come here to Portales and eventually I did, transferring from Central Arizona to go to ENMU. When I got to ENMU, I was walking to a class in the arena and told me C I told ya… After that he became a great mentor to me , I will never forget taking his officiaiting class, and when I got in my graduate studies I remember him telling me when he first met me in the greyhound arena during our summer championship game againist Fort Sumner. All in all he was a good man with a big heart I will never forget him. One thing he did tell me was eventually I will make my way to coaching basketball and when I do I wll be a damn good one, I asked him why and he said because you think like a coach!
Jenn Your words are beautiful…………